Last night we got news that my husbands little brother and his wife are in contract to purchase their first home. They are barely adults, fresh out of the teenage years and have an absolutely adorable son (not that I’m biased or anything #ProudAuntie). They are learning most things the hard way and trying to appear strong even though we all know the struggles they are facing between just getting past the 1st year of marriage, having the 20/21yr old stupidity/attitude problems, and financial struggles. We’ve all been there, they don’t always want to hear it, but my husband and I have tried to be an example to them from the every beginning of their dating days and continue to be there to support them.
After they called my inlaws to let them know my father-in-law called all us kids individually and asked if we could all pitch $100 in to help them because they need a certain amount for a down payment to get their loan and because my brother-in-laws hours at work have been cut because he refuses to miss church on Sunday mornings so they are punishing him for that, they’ve had to tap into their savings to keep up on bills. He is trying to find a better job and has been applying and going to interviews but hasn’t heard back from anything just yet. My husband being the giver that he is said “Of course!” We are so proud of them for taking such a giant step, but a smart one because their mortgage payment is cheaper than rent.
Late that night we got a phone call from him and his wife, they were crying because dad called them and told them that we all went in to help them get their down payment. They called each sibling to thank them. They were so moved that we all were so willing to help them with no strings attached. I guess his wife’s family always has strings attached to everything, and he said he’s gotten so use to dealing with that he forgot that his own family isn’t like that. The fact that they were both crying makes me cry because I know they are scared, stressed and needed some family support. My sister-in-law messaged me in such excitement because their new house is within walking distance to us and our inlaws.
While all that goodness was happening that night another one of my sister-in-laws was messaging me angry because she doesn’t think it’s “our job to pay for there stuff”. She was messaging going on and on that my inlaws never do this stuff for them and they have a specific income to live off of for the next year ect… I wasn’t shy about responding to her, nor did I tip toe around it. My inlaws pay for their hotel and most of all their expenses when they come up here to visit. My inlaws have given them money when they said they needed diapers and such for their kids and they took that money and bought booze and cigarettes so now my inlaws refuse to give them money for anything. If they need something specific they order it and have it shipped to them. Also, that income they have is to last a year and it’s more than double what my husband and I live off of and we have to pay rent and they had a house signed over to them at no cost when they got back from Germany after my brother-in-law got out of the military. Plus their “no income” isn’t true because he gets a disability check every month from the VA.
She went on that they need to sell off stuff and get a 2nd job to pay their bills and I informed her that I didn’t think they actually asked us all for the money (because at that time I didn’t know really any of the details) and that he has been looking for another job, going to interviews and such. I also said, “Maybe it’s just us, Isaiah and I are both givers, we love to help and/or bless others despite it getting us into situations sometimes (house guests that stay for 6months ect) but the Lord has blessed us through all of it and has never let us go without and we see that, so will always choose to be a blessing to someone else.” After that she never responded back to me other than “we’re still over here fighting” so I just left it at that.
My husband and I screwed up a lot, we were older when we did so not as young as his brother and sister-in-law, but we understand the struggle. Despite the struggle the Lord stayed true to us as we righted our wrong and got back on course. We couldn’t afford baby stuff, a friend of mine offered to throw us a baby shower and I ended up getting everything possible that I could need including almost a full years worth of diapers. My mom and aunt go thrifting/clerance shopping together 3 days a week and have always made sure we had all the clothes we could possible need and then some.
Never pass up the opportunity to be a blessing to someone because it just makes you feel good on the inside.
2 Corinthians 9:7 – Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, [so let him give]; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.