Mom Syndrome

So tax return time is here, and as I do every year I window shop on Amazon for things we need or could use to improve our apartment.  If we were smart we would put the whole amount in a savings account until we get our credit where it needs to be to purchase a home.  However, we are not, instead we buy things we need like a vehicle, couch cover, curtains ect.

This year my husband bought himself a new computer, one that is capable of running all his  design programs and such for his business that he’s been trying to get up off the ground.  We also are getting another vehicle since our car is currently on it’s last leg and we want to expand our family and 3 carseats in a sedan just isn’t gonna happen for us, so a soccer mom van it is!  I also wanted to get our girls new carseats.  They are 3 & 4 and at the weight limit for their harnesses.  Granted my 4yr old is allowed to use a seatbelt now, but she doesn’t like it, she wants to be in a harness still.  I also made a wish list on Amazon for curtains, rugs, couch cover, crock pot, new baking supplies, and a tv stand.

I will be honest, I was not happy about this new computer that my husband bought.  There was a misunderstanding between us.  He had mentioned wanting to get one and in his head that was us “talking” about it first.  In the whole working through the anger of this big purchase with him I’ve come to realize that I never buy anything for myself.  I call it “mom syndrome”.  I buy what we need for our house, what my kids need and things to better our home.  I never buy things for myself.  Last year after months of house “guests” my husband surprised me with a tv for our bedroom so I could get some “me time”.

My husband mentioned again last night that I never buy things I want.  When I go to make the purchase I talk myself out of it, or I settled for less or just nothing at all.  We only have 1 vehicle so I’m stuck at home with the kids everyday, which in the warm months it’s not bad because my in-laws are only 2 miles away so we walk there so the kids can play and run around since we really have no yard.  He wants to get us the van for me, so I can take the kids places.  That right there made me so happy I could cry.  He’s starting to see how stir crazy I get being stuck at home.

The only amazing thing he did was order me my dream mixer.  I was having anxiety for the next hour after he ordered it because of the cost  combined with it’s something I’ve been wanting for so long but never would justify the cost. I actually found one on ebay that was a manufacturer refurbished item that still came with the warranty. The best part of it is I got the color I wanted & the style I wanted for 50% off the original price!!!  That helped me feel better about the purchase.  My grandma always said the best things in life are 1/2 off!  So my Kitchenaid Professional 600 series Stand Mixer w/bowl lift in Apple Green is on it’s way just in time to make a bunch of food and desserts for our upcoming church fellowship dinner.

My husband wanting me to have this mixer means so much because I have a dream of running my own little cupcake and chocolates business and also an event planning business.  I love planning parties and making cupcakes and chocolate covered everything.  I love the idea of working for myself so I can still stay home and care for my kids.  I love that my husband has the faith in my that I can achieve my dream.  He said that after we get our van (hopefully in the next week) and new carseats I can go ahead and order the rest of my “wish list” on Amazon!  He really is the best.   Even though to get everything on my wish list is less than $300 it’s still nice to be able to buy everything that I want for the house.

To all my mommy friends out there make sure that you don’t always put your needs and/or wants on the back burner.  We MATTER too!  I’ve totally lost myself since I became a mom 4yrs ago and it’s taken me this long to realize that I lost myself and my identity and my waist LOL.

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