New Age, New Stage

My girls and myself all had birthdays in January.  We are now 3, 4, and 28.  My 3yr old has turned into a demon child.  To her I have no authority anymore.  She is continuously testing her limits.  Staying consistent with her has been so hard and since my husband is gone from 8:45am until 7pm I’ve spent many evenings crying away my stress.  I have dinner ready when he gets home, half the time the kids have eaten already so when he walks through the door I can run (yes run!) to my bedroom and shut the door to try and gain my sanity back.  On nights when he has evening appointments and isn’t home for bedtime I put them to bed by 8pm but when he’s home he lets them stay up later til 8:30-9pm since he doesn’t get to spend much time with them.

My 4yr old has hit a “maturity” in her new age.  She has really did a 180 with her behavior which is something I really needed since her sister has gone off the deep end.  Although she did try to test telling this momma “no”.  That started on a Monday and ended by Wednesday.  Overall her new age has been so amazing that it makes me feel like I could have another child without losing my mind despite how my own mother feels.

My new age, well…. who actually likes getting close to 30?  LOL!  I new feel a new level of maturity and I’m not sure if it’s because of watching my sister-in-law who just turned 21 is acting and thinking to myself that girl needs slapped, or because of some other reason that I haven’t really figured out yet.   I have noticed I’m detaching from my own mother quite a bit.  I use to have panic attacks if I thought about moving more than 20mins away from my mom but lately I have the desire to move 45mins away or even out of state.  However my husband who always wanted to live far away no longer wants to leave his parents.  I think it’s because his brother recently was medically discharged from the Army and didn’t move back to our state, and then his other brother just moved out of state.  I also think he realized we can’t just up and leave taking their grandkids with us.  I am open to moving further from my mom but keeping closer to his family.  Right now I’m 2 miles from his parents and 4 miles from my parents.

I think even though I’m a wife and a mom I’m actually starting to really feel like an adult. We all know that even though we legally turn into an “adult” when we turn 18 that being an adult is something totally different in how we act vs our age.  I’ve secluded myself a lot over the last 4-5yrs from so many people.  I’ve removed all the toxic and potentially toxic relationships.  I removed people who’ve been in my life for 20yrs because of their feelings towards my marriage (being in a interracial marriage).  Having gone through SO much negativity I’m starting to find happiness again.  So hopefully this is a positive sign for how my year is going to go.  *fingers crossed*

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