Checked Out

Lately, I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed.  There has been a lot going on between loss, family drama, illness, and events to attend.  While trying to deal with all this my housework has suffered.  I’ve been only doing the bare minimum to stay afloat.  I’ve come to feel like I’m just going through the motions of life the past couple weeks.  I feel like I’m being pulled and stretched in 1000 directions with 2 screaming toddlers at my feet.  I guess this week I pretty much just checked out, which was a bad idea, because it caused an argument with my husband.

What opened my eyes to this, is a disagreement I had with my husband.  We are like an regular couple, we argue here and there but rarely ever do we fight.  I can count on 1 hand the real fights we have had over the past 7 years.  Well, this argument this week tipped me over.  He left for work, while we were arguing, so no goodbyes, no I love you was said, and  no kisses were given.  We went all day without speaking to each other, which only happens if he is swamped to the point he cant touch his phone.  Otherwise I get ” I love/miss you” messages throughout the day.  What sucked the most here was my girls were having a really bad day with terrible 2’s and terrifying 3’s, I was fried and at my whits end and I needed to get him on the phone to have a little talk with them to help change their behavior.  I don’t even know what time he got home from work because I had our girls in our room watching a show and laying with me, I came out of our room and he was sitting at his computer area so I just left him alone.

After the girls went to bed, I made a pizza as a peace offering to him, but it still took another 2 hours (11pm) before we would speak to each other.  I started watching a show on Netflix called “Chasing Life” and realized life is too short for all this nonsense.  So I prayed, and felt the need to apologize to him.  So barely able to talk because I had tears streaming down my face, I got my “I’m sorry” out and he surprisingly turned his chair around and apologized also.  Finally, I got my hug & kiss that I wasn’t given that morning.  We went and laid in the bed and talked for a little bit before just falling asleep.  Everything was right again, with us so I could finally sleep peacefully.  I’m not one that can sleep if I’m upset.

My relationship with my husband is so special to me.  He’s my best friend and really my other half.  I cannot function if we are not in sync with each other.  When we’re perfectly in sync we are an unstoppable force.  Nothing in this world is too big for us, our dreams truly are our limits.  I love that about us, I love that we don’t need a social life apart from each other,  and we don’t need to have other married couples to hang out with.  We only need each other.  We can be in the same room doing our own thing and it is all good.   Life is perfect in those moments.




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