Family: Just Another Word for Drama

*Caution long blog*

This past weekend my niece was born and then passed away shortly after.  You can read more about that in my blog 27 Minutes on Earth, Forever in My Heart . So we were left pretty much in the dark all weekend.  My brother wouldn’t answer his phone for my parents or anything.  I got notifications on Facebook and went to check them and soon as I got online a picture of the baby was posted.  I took a screenshot so I would have it forever.  I also hit “like” and commented on the post with just 3 hearts.  Next thing I know, I was unfriended.

Last night my mom brought my daughter home (my girls take turns spending Sunday afternoons at their grandparents house) and I asked if she has talked to my brother at all.  She was hesitant to tell me.  She was tip toeing around everything, so finally I got her to just tell me what was going.  What she had to say was totally ridiculous.  On top of all that they don’t want me to know anything about the burial because they don’t want me there.

I was unfriended because I “disrespected” their privacy by liking and commenting on the photo.  I’m sorry but what privacy is there, when you post something on social media?  I didn’t share the photo, I didn’t make and comments other than a couple hearts.  I mean, if you want your privacy stay off social media.  If you posted the photo with the intention of just your mom to see it, send it in a private message or change the privacy settings so only your mom can see it.  They unfriended me to avoid this in the future.  My brother is 3 years older than me, lets act like adults, if you didn’t like something I did, talk to me about it, let me know.  I rather be told I did something to offend someone so I don’t do it again in the future.  I didn’t know liking a picture of my niece was offensive.

They also felt like I was stalking their Facebook, just waiting for something to be posted.  This made me laugh because apparently, I have nothing better to do with my life such as caring for my kids, feeding my family, doing housework, running errands and just planted my butt in front of my computer waiting for something to be posted.  On top of my “real” life off of the internet, I also run local swap sites on Facebook.  I had gotten notifications for posts pending and went online to approve them right when they posted the picture of the baby, so it was in fact at the top of my news feed.  Just so everyone knows, I was spending my day rolling diapers for diaper cakes, along with doing invitations and other baby shower preparations for a sister-in-law on my husbands side.

I understand they are going through a difficult time.  My heart is broken for them.  I have spent hours just crying for them and wishing they wouldn’t have this heartache to deal with, but now they are trying to say this child is not my niece,   and they think they can keep me from loving her.  I have loved that little girl since the moment I found out about her.  What is sad is this has been their regular behavior, even before the pregnancy. My sister-in-law has a son from her first marriage, and she looks at me with disgust when I’m playing with him or he calls me “Aunt”.  I’m sorry but if you married into a family, wouldn’t you be happy that they have so openly accepted you and your child?  All I have ever wanted is to be an auntie.  I have a nephew & niece on my husbands side, but I just always wanted to have that deal with my brothers kids. My brother denied my girls until he moved back here, up until then he said they were not his nieces, he didn’t even know them.  He also didn’t try to know them.

My brother & I have never had a good relationship.  He is 3years older and moved away while I was in high school.  In the past 10years (until Nov when he moved into my parents home) I’ve seen him twice maybe 3 times and only spent a total of less than an hour with him.  There is no relationship between us, so when he moved back I thought ok, were both adults now maybe things will be different.  Nope they are not, what makes it worse is that his wife is worse than him.  My brother was verbally attacking me a few years ago in a chat conversation on Facebook and my husband jumped in and defended me and let my brother know  he  WILL NOT allow him to talk to me like that.  My brother didn’t like that he could no longer use me as his punching bag, as he did verbally and physically growing up.

My mom claims that his wife is jealous or intimidated by our family.  I think she just think she’s better than us.  She refused to let us give Christmas presents to her son when he came back from spending Christmas with his dad.  Well, I probably pissed her off because I brought his presents with me to my moms and had him open them.  When he went through a growth spurt my mom went and bought him new clothes because they were complaining about not having anything for him, and then have the nerve to tell my mom they didn’t like any of it.  When they moved out of my parents house into their apartment they left behind everything that was bought for her son.  My mom asked why they left it and she said she didn’t want any of it.  I mean can you get any more rude?  My parents have bent over backwards for several months (while they were living rent free in my parents home) to make her feel comfortable, welcome, and happy.  I’m tired of seeing my mom so stressed out because she feels like she can’t do anything good enough for them.

I just don’t understand some people.  Heaven forbid, but if I ever had to go through a similar situation, I would definitely want the support from my family and my in-laws.  I am also one of those odd ones who really love my in-laws though lol.  Anyways, now that I got all this off my chest I feel a little better 🙂   Regardless if they like or not, I am still praying for them, and I will always them ALL of them.

 

Side Note: other than my husband and 1 other person nobody knows I blog or the name of my blog 😉  I wanted it like this to keep everyone’s privacy.  I dont share that I write these on social media at all.

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Family: Just Another Word for Drama”

  1. I’m sorry, and sorry for them.

    I understand this isn’t the first clash you’d had with them, but … well, in the circumstances I’d imagine they’re not responding as well as they’d want. I hope it’ll be better.

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    1. Unfortunately, this is how he reacts to most situations. We went through this in the past, and why I just gave up on our relationship years ago. I thought him being in the military would have changed him, but sadly, it only made him worse.

      Like

  2. I’m sorry for your loss and sorry that the situation is so complicated. I’m sitting here trying to think of something useful to write but, no, I’ve got nothing. Family!!!

    And as for privacy on social media, well, that has to be a bit of clue that someone’s not thinking clearly. I hope things get better soon.

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    1. Thank you. There really are no words. I’m over the whole situation now. Blogging it helped me just get over it. When I married my husband I gained 5 brothers and a sister. Sister-in-law drama is not new to me lol. However, some of my brother-in-laws have been more of a brother to me growing up than my own. Amazingly I married someone who comes from a family that my family has been friends with for 20yrs! I’ve learned that family isn’t always blood, its the people who love you and support you regardless. I’ve decided I’m just going to go back to how it was before my brother moved back. My mom will tell me the information about him on a need to know basis.

      Liked by 1 person

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